It has come to this: several people younger than I am are engaged or married, and the other day my aunt, who is 48 years old got married again after being a widow for about 8 years. My soul withers a little bit every time I have to attend a wedding of one of my peers and everyone asks me when it’s my turn. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge anyone their happiness.
I have always been under the impression that one day my Mr Right would show up and we would have a magical wedding and a happy marriage. In October I will be 27 years old with no prospects of a love life AT ALL. I am a reluctant spinster. I don’t WANT to be single, but I am. Now, I know that in this day and age, 27 years old is no longer considered old enough to be a spinster as we are no longer living in the Victorian era. And yes, there’s still SO MUCH I can do; travel, explore do all those things that I won’t get to do when I’m in a relationship or married. But you tell that to my family who, despite me having a Master’s degree in Human Genetics (1st in the family) and starting a really good job with a respected Science supply company in October, has been asking me since I turned 21 when I am “going to make a plan”.
These are the questions I have to brace myself for when I attend family function, and I have to answer them several times:
1. Are you still studying? When will you be done?
2. When are you going to work? (Like my job as a book seller was a joke)
3. When are you going to get married? You’re not getting any younger, you know.
They throw these questions at me in the accusatory tone reserved for an insolent toddler who refuses to put on his pants or an ageing hippy who refuses to conform to ‘normal’ life. Well, I suppose if being single is an alternative lifestyle, I’m living it up like a rebel.
So after answering all of these questions several times in the short space of a few hours, I have become quite annoyed and reluctant to attend family functions. DESPITE my disdain, I still hyperventilate when my mother says she’s going to sell/hire out her wedding dress to someone else. In my mind, that dress is MINE. It is my birthright. Never mind that a. I have no boyfriend or b. the dress is 2 sizes too small for me. I continue to buy Tupperware, crockery, cutlery, towels every month, JUST IN CASE. I have a little wedding folder on my PC with ideas and pictures from Pinterest, JUST IN CASE. One must be prepared.
I even posted an open application for boyfriends on twitter and Facebook last week, with zero responses. People keep asking me if I was serious with that. What, you think my life is a joke? This is my future, man.
The reality of being a single, Muslim female over the age of 25 with a higher education, with a healthy, opinionated brain under her hijab is rather stressful when you still have the added pressure of your family wanting you to marry and have babies. I have some years left though, my grandmother is rooting for 35 as my cutoff age.
If anything, I will be fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse by preparing a gazillion different casseroles and pastas and storing them in my Tupperware.