If you missed my rant on twitter yesterday, here is a recap.
Yesterday as I was minding my own business, entering the complex at work, a guy comes past me, greets me very decently and asks if he can speak to me for a moment. I say, ok, fine. He tells me I’m pretty, and he sees I am not wearing a wedding ring, and do I have a boyfriend? I say no, he asks if I use MXit.
Strike one. You guys, it took all my strength not to be snide.
I say no, I do not. He asks if he can have my number then. I say ok, yes, fine, and give it to him. About 15 minutes later, this guy messages me, again telling me how pretty he thinks I am. Then he tells me: “Actually you’re quite hot and you have nice tits.”
Strike two. WHAT.
At this point I am a little taken aback by this blunt approach. I am not used to men speaking like this to me, even more so, I didn’t even know people spoke to women like this. I MET HIM 15 MINUTES AGO! Also, I was literally covered up. I have big boobs, ok, yes. That’s not the point.
Anyway, I attempt to change the subject, talking about this and that and then he throws in: “hey, tell me, are you a virgin?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
This is how I felt inside:
He repeats. I am so dumbfounded at this point. I don’t even have a response, I am so angry. Eventually I reply, and say to him how uncomfortable I am with this conversation. He tells me it’s ok if I am, and it’s ok if I’m not; it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
HOW IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS, CREEPY GUY I JUST MET LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR AGO?!
I tell him, it’s not relevant to this conversation and how is it any of his business? I mean, I thought people spoke about life and stuff, or at least knew each other’s surnames before they enquired about people’s virginity status. He tells me it’s not a big deal, and I mustn’t try to pretend that life is not about sex.
I’M SORRY, WHAT?
I’m not naïve, or dumb when it comes to guys. Just because I haven’t had a date in 2 years, doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about men.
So here I am, disappointed and angry that this fool is questioning me about my sexual history that is none of his business, and he is trying to defend himself, when I realise I KNOW HIM by association to someone else and GUESS WHAT he’s married. I end that conversation SO quickly, I am not about to get involved in that kind of mess. Did I mention that he’s Muslim? Is this how Muslim men speak to women they hardly know? I have never felt more disrespected EVER.
And this is one of the reasons why I am single; this is the type of man that approaches me. I really thought he was very nice and we could have a conversation and that he wouldn’t be disappointing and gross. The first guy who shows interest in two years and THIS is what I get. Universe, I hope you’ve got something REALLY GOOD in store for me.
So the point of my story is that I am constantly disappointed by these misogynistic, terrible spellers. Read book, guy, and learn how to speak to a woman with respect. That’s all I am asking. It doesn’t matter if it’s the YOU magazine, at least you’re reading. Show a little interest, there’s a difference between being blunt and being an asshole. You can miss me on your MXit language and your queries about my sexual activities.
I WONDER HOW YOUR MOTHER WOULD FEEL IF SHE KNEW YOU SPOKE TO ME LIKE THIS.
Call me old-fashioned, or whatever, and if you’re a girl who entertains such behaviour, that’s your thing, but my love is too magical to be thrown back into my face (Yes, I quoted For Coloured Girls).
Over and out,
The Reluctant Spinster