If you missed my rant on twitter yesterday, here is a recap.

Yesterday as I was minding my own business, entering the complex at work, a guy comes past me, greets me very decently and asks if he can speak to me for a moment. I say, ok, fine. He tells me I’m pretty, and he sees I am not wearing a wedding ring, and do I have a boyfriend? I say no, he asks if I use MXit.

Strike one. You guys, it took all my strength not to be snide.



I say no, I do not. He asks if he can have my number then. I say ok, yes, fine, and give it to him. About 15 minutes later, this guy messages me, again telling me how pretty he thinks I am. Then he tells me: “Actually you’re quite hot and you have nice tits.”

Strike two. WHAT.



At this point I am a little taken aback by this blunt approach. I am not used to men speaking like this to me, even more so, I didn’t even know people spoke to women like this. I MET HIM 15 MINUTES AGO! Also, I was literally covered up. I have big boobs, ok, yes. That’s not the point.

Anyway, I attempt to change the subject, talking about this and that and then he throws in: “hey, tell me, are you a virgin?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

This is how I felt inside:


He repeats. I am so dumbfounded at this point. I don’t even have a response, I am so angry. Eventually I reply, and say to him how uncomfortable I am with this conversation. He tells me it’s ok if I am, and it’s ok if I’m not; it’s nothing to be ashamed of.


I tell him, it’s not relevant to this conversation and how is it any of his business? I mean, I thought people spoke about life and stuff, or at least knew each other’s surnames before they enquired about people’s virginity status.  He tells me it’s not a big deal, and I mustn’t try to pretend that life is not about sex.




I’m not naïve, or dumb when it comes to guys. Just because I haven’t had a date in 2 years, doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about men.

So here I am, disappointed and angry that this fool is questioning me about my sexual history that is none of his business, and he is trying to defend himself, when I realise I KNOW HIM by association to someone else and GUESS WHAT he’s married. I end that conversation SO quickly, I am not about to get involved in that kind of mess. Did I mention that he’s Muslim? Is this how Muslim men speak to women they hardly know? I have never felt more disrespected EVER.

And this is one of the reasons why I am single; this is the type of man that approaches me.  I really thought he was very nice and we could have a conversation and that he wouldn’t be disappointing and gross. The first guy who shows interest in two years and THIS is what I get. Universe, I hope you’ve got something REALLY GOOD in store for me.


So the point of my story is that I am constantly disappointed by these misogynistic, terrible spellers. Read book, guy, and learn how to speak to a woman with respect. That’s all I am asking. It doesn’t matter if it’s the YOU magazine, at least you’re reading. Show a little interest, there’s a difference between being blunt and being an asshole. You can miss me on your MXit language and your queries about my sexual activities.


Call me old-fashioned, or whatever, and if you’re a girl who entertains such behaviour, that’s your thing, but my love is too magical to be thrown back into my face (Yes, I quoted For Coloured Girls).

Over and out,

The Reluctant Spinster  



Hey guys, I am sorry I have not blogged in a while. I have writer’s block 😦  I haven’t even touched my thesis in a while.

Someone told me you get through the block by writing through it.

2012 was an exciting year for me, although at the beginning, I didn’t know it would be. My aims for 2012 were to finish my thesis and MAYBE find a job that had something to do with my chosen profession, which is Science. I was quite comfortable working at the bookstore while writing my thesis.

In my perpetual pursuit of passion (alliteration stays winning) and love, I joined an online dating site. Yes, I went there. Oh what an experience it was :’D.

The site required a subscription in order to access the chat facility and some other things I forget. It’s a little like Facebook, except creepy because you ONLY see men. Well, I suppose I could have seen women if I had changed my sexual preference. But I digress. I did not have the patience to stay on there long enough to find my soul mate. My ex-boyfriend found a girl on the same site who he now want to marry. I ended up chatting with one of them who I am still skeptical about whether or not that really was his profile picture as I eventually found the same picture on a model agency’s website which got me thinking why would attractive people join an Internet dating site? But more of that later.

This was my most common response to the people who requested to chat to me:


People were using MXit language on their profiles. I could not guys. I could not handle that. I know you have to give people a chance but Whn dey tlk lik dis I just lose interest immediately.

My experience with online dating, though brief, taught me that I lack patience and that I am a snob.

Aside from my brief foray into the online dating world, I started a new job (which was offered to me, I did not go looking for it. So blessed), which offered me a certain degree of financial freedom and I told a guy I like him.

And I became an avid twitter user. I LOVE TWITTER SO MUCH. I am addicted, I think it’s safe to say this. I have also made some really good friends through twitter. I have met some amazingly talented people, people who have helped me make some (small) dreams come true and hilarious people whose tweets just make me smile. I may have found my soul mate in a gay man, and found so many people who share my love for books. i have also developed a deep and abiding love for online shopping, which my bank accoutn isnt too happy about *eek*.

My friendship with my closest friends has been strengthened, I love my girls so much. 2012 has shown me who my real friends are. The people who have my back, the ones who are there when I need them, no drama, and the people who I can be blatantly honest with.

 2012 and my friends and family gave me possibly the best birthday I have had in a long time.

The only thing I have not achieved  that I really wanted, was to win something! I have entered countless online competitions, TV competitions, cereal box competitions  and NOTHING. Nada. Zilch. I remain without a prize.

I continue my hope for love but in the mean time I am enjoying myself SO much. Life is good, guys. Life is truly great.  Here’s to a 2013 filled with love and prizes and being a wanter and not a wisher 🙂

I am sorry I could not offer you more than this.

Muneera xxx


Hellllooooo 🙂


Do you want this?





In exchange for these little helpings of scrumptious sin, you need to tell me on twitter  the things you are most embarrassed about doing/liking/owning. This can be music, movies, books, clothes, WHATEVER. The 5 best/worst will be the winners. Too cool for school? Not on my time line, sorry.


Guys, I have low standards when it comes to movies and music, so really, if you want my cookies, it has to be really bad. I’ll be running this for the weekend and I’ll choose winners on Monday. If I see you frequently, this competition is not for you. South Africa only. I am not made of Nelsons.


Please allow 2 weeks for me to find the time to bake (I have a full-time job) and package and send and deliver the goods.

It’s worth it. I promise.

Fiona is that you?

The Jiggly Bits

It’s official.

My vagina is an underachiever. I mean I kinda knew that already – with the cobwebs and all. But now, I have test results to prove it to my um… cats – who give less of a shit than I do. But still…

In true geek fashion, I just love getting an A on tests – even an HPV (Human papillomavirus) test. And by that, I mean I don’t have HPV.

I told my new gynecologist that I would pass with flying colors – but she was so sweet when she asked if she could test me [I fell in love with her and offered to carry her next baby…] – I said yes.

Note to self: If someone is nice to you, the odds of compliance go up by at least 50% [and that’s without coffee and offers to clean your house.]

So why don’t you get…

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